Bruce Kay: Observations from the Homefront

Dateline: Washington DC Area, Undisclosed Location (Ok, well, 'Scooter' Libby's' old bunker...well, rents are ridiculous in this town)

Ok. Ok. There is a point to this column - recognizing the passing of two brilliant minds (no, of course not from here), those of Art Buchwald & Molly Ivins, perhaps the last two people to make sense out of the American political quagmire.

I have been accused of borrowing heavily from the style of said writers, & will admit, MUCH better talents than I have a debt to these two.

I'm going to continue to "paraphrase" some of the better work of Art & Molly, so, this is my apology, in advance. It's not like anyone bothers when Joe Biden sez anything foolish so why should I? Oh, scratch that.

Column space is running out so let me throw out the Ivin-esque observations I've held back these last few months…

Bill Frist overheard at The Ford funeral: "His condition is serious but stable". Oddly, Frist made the same comment after viewing the video of Saddam's hanging. At least he's consistent, unlike some Presidents I could name...

Bush promoting fuel efficiency? Like Larry Flint selling a catalogue of Burkas. Who else conducts cabinet meetings using the 'Cones of Silence'. At least Maxwell Smart eventually proved 'KAOS' was behind something evil.

But give W credit. His motto, "If at first you don't succeed, redefine success," works for him.

Fairytales are real for some people. E.g. before the last election, W was like Pinocchio, with the voters seeming like Snow White sitting on his face saying "Lie to me!"

And after the election? Voters across the country were saying "The emperor wears no clothes." (Except in my home state of Georgia, where the voters said, "Nice suit!")

With so many candidates running in '08, they strike some people as a bunch of dwarfs, but after all, we're looking to fill some tiny shoes .

Molly Ivins once observed "Texas, is just Mississippi, but w/ better roads." It's apropos of nothing, but I always liked that quote.

And Art Buchwald, well, he proved you can live in France, & still be funny. That's something.

- Bruce Kay Feb/07

I've been trying to come up with a proper tribute to the two influential and special columnists Bruce mentions. Buchwald was a huge influence on me - his was the first column I ever read regularly. Thanks Bruce! (PBG)